When do you just listen?

Margaret J. Wheatley is a name that has been in my awareness for some time, but it took until yesterday for me to be completely inspired by one of her works - "Turning to one another:  Simple conversations to restore hope to the future". 

I hope you will allow me to share a few highlights....

"People are the solution to the problems that confront us.  Technology is not the solution, although it can help." (19)

"Relationships are all there is.  Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation.  We have to stop pretending we are individuals who can go it alone." (19)

"We have to slow down.  Nothing will change for the better until we do.  We need time to think, to learn, to get to know each other.  We are losing these great human capacities in the speed-up of modern life, and it is killing us." (19)

"We are hungry for a chance to talk.  People want to tell their story, and are willing to listen to yours." (24)

"If conversation is the natural way that humans think together, what gets lost when we stop talking to each other?" (26)

"... When she tells her story, it begins like all the others:  Some friends and I started talking." (27)

"When we listen with less judgment, we always develop better relationship with each other.  It's not differences that divide us.  It's our judgments about each other that do." (36)

"Oppression never occurs between equals.  Tyranny starts with the belief that some people are more human than others." (75)

"One of the easiest human acts is also the most healing.  Listening to someone." (88)

My big 3 take-aways?

1. I am willing to reclaim the time to think. (98)
2. Humanity is the only species on the planet that, if it disappeared, would leave the planet better off.  The extinction of any other species would lead to the collapse of ecosystems.  (106)
3. I am willing to lean into the pain and grief of others. (81)

Inspired?  When do you listen?  When will you have that conversation? 

How do you reconcile?

I am currently reading a book on spiritual growth.  (I'm not through it yet, so I will wait to add a link until I know for sure I can put my support behind it.  So far, so good.)

One of the topics has been reconciliation.  Something really grabbed me about this word.  One of the many definitions I consulted states that to reconcile is to bring into harmony or to make consistent. 

I think that we all must feel a little fragmented at times.  Am I right?  Do you sometimes feel scattered?

Perhaps I was drawn to this word because it is related to the ideas of integrity and being aligned.  I value people and experiences that have a consistency to their nature.  I certainly like when there is a sense of harmony.  (My boys can attest that their bickering drives me crazy.) 

I think that the process of reconciliation brings us back to the truth, to the light.  But how exactly, do we get there?  While I'm not an expert, I think the first step is to create a quiet physical and mental space to access the person you truly are.  Then, I think you need to meditate or pray to consider what is creating a state of disequilibrium.  Hopefully, that awareness will lead to some ideas on how to bring all the pieces back together. 

Personally, I'm going to test my hypothesis.  There is at least one relationship in my life that requires some reconciliation within me.  Not totally sure what the outcome will be, but the anxiety related to a past hurt is really only bugging me. 

Planning an off-site event for your team this year?

Happy New Year!  I hope this holiday season has provided the chance for reflection, peace and joy.  As we begin a new year, perhaps some of you are planning an off-site event for your team in 2012.  Maybe a strategic planning session for your leadership team?  A rewards event for your sales force?  A retreat for a hard-working group?

Recently, a local leader shared a very significant experience that she had at an off-site conference.  While listening to Howard Schultz’s story “Onward” (the story of Starbucks’ turnaround), he recounted a similar idea.  That was when I decided this would be a good theme for a new year’s blog post.

A multi-day off-site conference offers the promise of many things – strategic planning, time for reflection outside of day-to-day pressures, a chance to bring global leaders into one spot to engage, reward and motivate.  It can be a struggle for event planners to establish the balance between meaningful and relevant sessions mixed with out-of-the-box learning experiences (that get people out of their seats in a conference room). 

So, why not consider joining forces with a local community, charitable or non-profit organization?  Can you imagine the impact your group could have when they build a house for a low-income family?  Beautify a park?  Support the local food bank?  Besides doing a good thing for a community, this allows for team-building, time for reflection and idea generation (minds are at rest while people’s hands are busy), and it can boost the company’s reputation with both the public and its employees. 

One note to any corporate planner:  approach partnerships with non-profit organizations in an open, equal way.  Most non-profits are keen and grateful to partner with your company.  Until recently, I was unaware of just how much preparation and resources a non-profit organization must bring to the table to partner with a corporation.  Through an open discussion between partners who respect one another, I am certain a valuable relationship can be fostered. 

How will you celebrate?

Two precious souls left our time and place this week.  Instantly, my perspective shifted.  Like in previous periods of grief, I find myself thinking of the people who have lost their battle with illness or with time, their families, and their friends.  It is as though my heart feels physically heavier.  I try to visualize sending them love, prayers, a warm hug - as though I can will the emotion I feel to transcend our geography, to travel and to reach them in far away places. 

As my mind comes back to the logistics of the season, I wonder what this might mean for the grieving family's plans and traditions for this holiday season.  Will it be more subdued?  Will it be cancelled altogether?  I wouldn't dare offer a judgment or suggestion to them, as every person experiences grief differently and it is their personal right to do what feels best for them. 

What I will say is that I plan to honour the people we have lost by being more present, more joyful and more grateful for the family and friends I will be seeing this year and the people who have contributed to my ever-so fortunate life. 

Blessings to you Rachel.  And to you, Max. 

How will you be in 2012?

It is that time of year.  As the holiday season approaches, regardless of how you celebrate, at some point your thinking will turn to the new year.  2012 will be here in just a few short weeks.

As a coach, I love goals.  I think that goals can be the building blocks of major life achievements. 

However, I have come to believe that the drive to achieve and accomplish can become an obsession.  For some, successfully reaching a new level, receiving awards, and advancing can parallel the desire to consume material things. 

So, as you think about what goals and dreams you want to reach for, ask yourself why is this important to me?  How will this objective serve me (and not others)?  Will this objective honour my values? 

Also, consider how you want to BE while you're striving to reach your goal.  What do you want to be aware of along the way?  What do you want to celebrate?  After all, the journey offers much more promise then the achievement of a goal.