How will you feel after the holidays?

We spend a great deal of time and energy planning for the holidays.  Our family traditions include decorating the house, baking cookies and other goodies, exchanging cards and photos of the kids, and buying small presents for our family and friends.  Usually there are many celebrations of the season to attend with a beautifully-prepared meal and visiting with relatives and neighbours.  It all sounds very good - and it is.

But, have you ever been disappointed when it's all over?  Although I am a definite extrovert and am enthused with energy when I am around people, usually I find a little quiet time to sit alone on the eve of the 25th.  There have been times during this welcomed reflection time , when a wave of disappointment has washed over me.  Has this ever happened to you?  Your reasons for this might be different than mine - maybe a family member you were hoping to visit with didn't show at the gathering, maybe the gift you were so excited to give didn't get the reaction you had expected, maybe you begin to wonder if this will be your last holiday celebration with a grandparent or ill loved one. 

So, I find myself asking "how might I avoid feeling disappointed?"  Here's my hypothesis - start with the end in mind.  Make a personal intention - "I will feel ____ after the holidays".   Then, what can I do today and in the next few days to make this a reality?  Particularly remember that you can only control so much; avoid laying your hopes on the actions of others.  Try hard not to get swept up in the hustle and bustle of what you "should" do because of someone else's holiday expectations.  Stop and think, "what course of action will create the holiday experience I want?"

Let me share an example of a choice that could impact your overall experience of the holidays.  Your intention is to feel satisfied that you've honoured relationships after the holidays.  One day this coming week, you get an impromptu invitation from your work colleagues to share a holiday drink with them after work.  You have also been wanting to make shortbread cookies with your kids; a tradition from your childhood.  What will you do??  There is no one right answer.  Perhaps, you're a parent who has been busily cooking, shopping, wrapping, attending holiday concerts with kids for the past 3 weeks.  You decide, I'm going to have a night that's just for me.  Great choice!  Or maybe you're someone who has been really busy with work for the past 6 weeks and think, this is where I can draw a line and choose going home to my family.  Fantastic!!  Either way, you've made a thoughtful choice about honouring important relationships in your life.  Stand proud.

Let me know how it goes for you.... I'm going to give my hypothesis a test drive this year too.  I want to feel a sense of peace after the holidays.  My intention is to slow my body and mind and be present in the experience of the holidays.  I will contribute to the wonder and excitement that my boys feel on the 25th.  I will listen well when visiting with my family and friends. 

Good luck and best wishes for creating your intentional holiday experience!

Update on Sunday, December 27, 2009 at 9:27AM by Jen Denys

Well, Christmas has come and gone for most.  I hope that you had a wonderful few days and that you made your intention come to life!

Our family has one more celebration today.  I can report that I did have the quiet moment on the 25th as I had expected - and did feel at peace.  I can also confess there were a few moments of sadness as I was away from my extended family this holiday season, but I was very present in the excitement of my children. 

I did make one very conscious decision that I am proud of - where part of me thought about doing some work when I had the chance to on Boxing Day, I chose stay at home, to play with my boys and to enjoy watching a movie.  A luxurious gift of time... that I don't regret.

Happy Holidays!