What do you enjoy?

Have you ever noticed that when we answer this question, we tend to talk about activities that require action?  We enjoy playing hockey, hiking, working, etc.  Why is that?  I started reflecting on this question when this weekend, I was watching my 1-year-old son play.  Mack has a new fascination with this basket in our family room.  It’s a good-sized basket that sits on the floor that is supposed to contain pillows and blankets. But, as I have 3 kids it rarely contains what it is supposed to.  On this day, the basket was empty and Mack with his new-found toddler mobility was climbing in and out of it.  It wasn’t as easy for him as it sounds.  He would steady his hands on the side and raise his leg over the edge; sometimes clearing it and other times his foot would hit the side – once, twice, six times.  Yet, he kept at it until he was finally in the basket.  Once inside, he seemed to have this order of things.  Certain toys would be thrown to the floor, usually followed by a laugh of satisfaction directed only to him, and others would stay inside.  Mack must have sat in that basket for about 5 minutes this way.  After that, he would carefully exit the basket, his own little kingdom, walk over to me, leaning on the furniture to make his way.  He would motion to be picked up and we’d have a little snuggle and hug.  Over the course of 45 minutes, Mack repeated this cycle about six times. 

The reason that I am sharing this story is that I realized how much enjoyment I got from this quiet moment with my son.  It caused me to reflect on Elizabeth Gilbert’s idea in “Eat Pray Love” that Americans (and perhaps us Canadians?) focus on being entertained for enjoyment and not what gives us pleasure.  This quiet time with my son gave me such pleasure.  It was a moment that I felt I wouldn’t get back, and one that isn’t always possible with a busy household.  While I sat there treasuring this quiet moment between Mack and I, there were some other feelings that were trying to creep in.  I started to wonder whether my time should be spent elsewhere; doing activities that I easily could with an empty house.  And with Mack “entertained”, was this not a great time to get something off that ever-populating to do list?  As I tried to set this urge aside, I started to feel guilt.  Should I not be using this time more productively?  What would people say if they saw me just sitting on the couch watching my son, doing “nothing”?  Would my husband, who was caring for my other boys, suggest that I should have gone along if all I was going to do at home was literally watch Mack?  Did I deserve this moment of stillness?

Now a few days later, I find this internal conversation quite funny.  YES, I deserved that time.  YES, Mack deserved my sole attention.  NO, there is nothing wrong with taking a few moments of stillness.  I truly ENJOYED that moment.  Being away from him now, I’m so happy that I did.  Mack may never remember it, but I think I will.  He’ll only be that unsteady toddler for a short time and I was happy to see the joy he experienced from his new independence, uninterrupted by the distraction of 2 older brothers.  I do not REGRET what I could have gotten done.  I’m pleased that I made the choice that I did. 

What gives you pleasure may be totally different than the experience I have shared.  But, I hope you can relate to my thought process.  In our busy, always-moving society (that we have constructed and participate in voluntarily), I hope that you will find the quiet moments of pleasure and that you will give yourself permission to participate fully in them.  What is that chocolate bar commercial slogan – “give yourself a break today”? 

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