This may not be the “I” product that was on your Christmas wish list this year. However, I think it is the most important one… and it happens to be available to all of us at no cost.
You are an individual. There is no one in the world who has the same experiences, personality, genetic make-up and perspectives that you do. So why do we so often look for ourselves in the image of other people?
This time of year, there are many times you may find yourself comparing yourself to others. Did I get that holiday social invite? What if the gift I’m giving isn’t as good as what they are giving? Why am I not further along in my career like them?
The problem with using other’s achievements as a guidepost for our own is that we compare our internal state to their external one. We compare our thoughts, feelings and fears to what we see on the outside – someone’s appearance, possessions, etc. We are making assumptions and judgments on only a fraction of what is real.
True “I” empowerment is when we take ownership of our lives. When we become accountable for our values, dreams and failures we are liberated from the prison that is comparing ourselves to others.
Have you been to a self-help section of a bookstore recently? It’s enormous. As a friend of mine recently shared, it’s about time we accept who we are rather than feel like we are something that needs to be fixed.
Consider how to get in touch with the person you are. Value the contributions only you can make. Be brave enough to show some self-love. Stay true to your own path and not that of another. That’s is really the only course correction you need.
Want to know your INDVIDUAL side this holiday season?
- Identify the 3-5 life experiences you’ve had so far that define you. What important values do these represent?
- When are you letting comparisons with others drive you? What decisions are you making that are dictated by statements like “I should.
- Think about how you are showing up in the specific areas of your life, e.g., significant relationships, family, work, community, etc. Does the same person emerge no matter who is around? What are you guarding? What would it mean to let this side of you out?
- Consider taking up a mindfulness practice like meditation. Introduce some quiet in your life daily or at least weekly.