Losing the Comparison Game

How often do you compare yourself to another person?

All of us do this to some degree and I think there are situations in our lives where we do it more often, such as being pregnant or a new parent, getting grades in schools, performance appraisal time at work, etc.  

Earlier this week, I read something that said that when we compare ourselves to others we lose and the other person loses too.

Isn’t that the truth?

When we compare ourselves, we scrutinize, analyze, count and look for the slightest detail that will place one over another. Even as I type this, my body reacts… my eyes squint, my shoulders rise, I lean forward.  Our attention goes to the detail.  We reduce ourselves and the other person to one or two comparators in order to calculate and judge who has the advantage.

With a narrowed focus, we examine the micro.  We no longer see what’s around the edges.  We lose the story: the journey, the challenge, the courage, the sacrifice, the triumph.  

Looking at the what without the how and the why does not interest me.  We lose the brilliance and expansiveness of the human spirit.  Theirs. Yours. Mine. 

Let’s not spend any more time assessing whether we measure up to another person.  Put the focus back on ourselves.  

Notice when you begin the ritual of comparison.  What is the criteria you are using as your yard stick?  Be curious about why that may be.  Does it represent a fear?  A need?  A wound?  

Whether the person you are comparing yourself to has more or less than you does not matter. If you want to be more of the person you are, that change can only ever come from your choices and your actions.